my life as a teenage killing machine
by when1emo1met1jrock
Summary: Violence, Sex, Humor, and Harry Potter. What more could you possibly want!


OK everyone this is Emo and my first Harry Potter story(online at least) so be a little gentle (just a little) no flames but constructive criticism is welcomed and I'll give you a cookie if you review…( wait what KIND of cookie?!Emo)

Welcome To Sentou-ha Academy!

We are not accountable for any injuries you may experience while at the Sentou-ha Academy. If you have any heart or brain conditions, we suggest you seek another school, or if you insist on entering please enter with caution. If you are pregnant or may soon become pregnant, your at the wrong school, (the school for whores is down the street…). If you suffer from depression or have serious thoughts of suicide (the real thoughts, not the poser ones.), then turn around and go home you stupid emo bitches, and get a life and last if you suffer from a weak heart or state of mind then…MAN UP MOFOS!!!!!(word)

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter… some rich chick does, so no you can't borrow them……trust us, if we could actually give them to people to borrow, we wouldn't because we would be to busy "borrowing" them ourselves………….

"Neville Longbottom!"

Neville nervously stumbled out of his seat and to the door, leaving a number of anxious and nervous faces in his wake.

"What do you think is going on?" Hermione whispered to her two best friends, Harry and Ron, as they watched the nervous teen walk out of the door. Ron shrugged and returned his attention to the tick-tack-toe game he was currently losing to Harry.

"God Dammit!" Ron swore under his breath as Harry won again. "How the hell do you keep winning?!"

Hermione just rolled her eyes and continued to furiously jot down notes, just as the teacher looked up from the board. Harry and Ron, completely oblivious to the fact that the teacher was watching them, carried on with their game. Just as the teacher opened his mouth to call the boys up to the front of the class, a deep voice rang out.

"Ron Weasley!"

Ron's face paled as he jerked out of his seat, Harry and Hermione calling encouragements while shooting each other worried glances.

……… Later on that night……..

The three teens plopped exhaustedly on the bench glancing around to see other faces just as exhausted as theirs. No one seemed to know just what exactly was going on…..but the soon hoped they would find out.

Dumbledore stood and waited for silence.

"Children none of you may know what is going on as of yet, but I am here to shed some light on this extremely confusing day. As you all know you were all called from your class rooms and into the temporary office of our guest, Professor Takemore. He is the headmaster of the international academy Sentou-ha all the way from Japan."

One student jumped up and started cheering, but slowly sat back down when he was bombarded with bread rolls from the Slytherin table.

"Now most of you may not know, but this academy only accepts highly advance students who show promise in unique ways that can only be honed, and nurtured, at this academy. Now unfortunately only a select few have been gifted with the chance of attending this academy. I will now call out the names of those who wish to attend this new school. When you are called please line up next to Professor Takemore, and he will later tell you more about the mysterious academy. Be warned students, this academy is intense in its teachings, filled with many indescribable wonders that few are able to face. Know students that your journey has just become a long and extremely difficult one, should you accept to go, you will be on your own and your fate will be entirely in your hands."

Dumbledore took in a deep breath and bellowed.

"Cho Chang!"

The Ravenclaw table filled with excited murmers as a shocked Cho walked towards the foreign professor.

"Ginny Weasley"

A hush fell over the crowd…but it didn't last long! The Gryffindor's erupted into screams and cheers of joy, as a red faced Ginny slowly walked toward the front and placed herself behind Cho.

Dumbledore once again paused he waited for the room to quiet down.

"Ronald Weasley"

Ron looked up from the chicken leg he was devouring and began to violently choke. Harry vigorously began to pound on his back as Hermione pulled Ron up and pushed him toward the front of the room.

Draco sneered at his friends as he watched the red headed teen take place behind his sister.

"Can you believe they let that second hand trash go to their school? I'm starting to have second thoughts about if I want to go to this school or not!

"How do you know your even going?" said an eavesdropping Ravenclaw from the table over.

"Draco Malfoy!"

Draco smirked, gracefully slid off the bench, and just before he walked away turned and said to the Ravenclaw "Because I'm better than everyone in here! Of course I would be picked to go."

"Hermione Granger"

Hermione let out a small, high pitched squeak, before jumping up and running toward the line. Malfoy grimaced.

"Don't get too close Granger I don't want to get mud on my robes."

Hermione glared at him with her large brown eyes, and frowned. Ron simply stared at her, temporarily forgot to breathe, and almost passed out just at the mere sight of her. Hermione, being the incredibly inexperienced, noticed nothing and had already returned her attention to Dumbledore.

……………………………………………………………………...

Jrock: Whew that was hard work right em-…..WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Emo: ……Nothing, nothing…..just ignore the sounds coming from this side of the room……

-sound of headboard hitting wall-

Jrock: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!

Emo: NOTHING!!I was just trying to get this picture down from the shelf above my bed!

Jrock: Yeah sure, then how come I could hear your headboard hitting the wall?!

Emo:…….I don't have a headboard…..the only bed that has a headboard in this house is….is….GROSS!!!!……..my parents bed……..

Jrock: O.O'

Thanks everybody for reading our first chapter…. We hope it wasn't so boring and/or stupid that you put on Hawthorne Heights and slit your wrists…….Because then we would feel bad….because then you wouldn't be able to review!

Sincerely,

Your FUCKIN' **Badass **writers

Emo and Jrock!


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